The Coin

The shadows surrounded him, he saw them as they consumed every light in him. He loathed the pain yet enjoyed the state in which he could not see himself. His dreams grew colder, darker, the paint in his hands was too heavy for him to paint with. He did not need colour or the happiness each stroke brought, it was all too temporary for him as the rain would come and wash his canvas- mind clean. Demons, angels, were the watchers of his life, taught him that light and darkness are the sides of one coin, that they needed each other to build his wings. This was hard for him. He was suspended in the middle of these two worlds. He thought that there was a choice, he saw that he needed to be a manifestation of one. His spirit was torn. Reality and fantasy fused between his eyes, each too quick for him to grasp. One demon told him, ‘choices aren’t made, they make themselves when the time is at hand’.. he did not understand what this meant, so he travelled between the clouds and met an angel pouring colours in a rainbow after a rainy day of summer. He asked the angel, ‘are you of light or are you of the dark’.. the angel continued to say.. ‘I am of neither’. He went back in his dreams, tried looking for answers that he never seized.  Life became what he dreaded, which was the lack of choice of either. He lived in both. 

A Reality to sleep on

It’s a little over two after midnight now, a little late for my eyes to bare but my fingers itch for the feelings within me to pour out. This world is mad and until a minute ago I was mad too at it for allowing itself to become its own ridicule. My madness though, will only be adding to the evident one we see. Humanity is destroying itself because it has lost the essence of what it is to take responsibility for what it sees. We have played the blame game, and entrusted other people with our health, finances, even our lives. But what else was there to do? This is the normality isn’t it? The only way this structure called society has offered us. But now everything is so bleak, unpromising, getting worse and just on the verge of collapse? Why? I mean this is intensely worrisome and scary when you do contemplate our fate, what it is going to be if all this continues. So, at this point, I have decided, that I need to take responsibility of my own state of internal affairs, because the prior question is one that does not have a standard answer we can all agree to. The only thing I can change is me, you know, be the change I wish to see. :)  It will always be like that until the people themselves see it fit for their own lives, to change. I mean some are adamant their lives are perfect. Honestly. It is so tiring to carry the world and its delusion on your shoulders and think it will willingly get off of them because it realizes the burden. We cannot change this external hell hole, or should I say ‘whole’ we see until something in us changes, ‘the projector’ needs to empty its hard drive. And that is painful to admit, to face and especially accept. The madness is in each one of us, and is projected to form this craziness, that is the root. From within. We deal everyday with different set of eyes that have different beliefs and standpoints that no one can change to be otherwise unless they allow it, to change it for them is another ‘God-task’ on its own. Lol. It becomes another ‘you are lying, you are not’ situation if people are pressured to be something they are not which further separates us. It is a predicament and it has been for thousands of years now. The patterns are there, war, poverty, these are just some of the recycled problems, not new problems. This just gets me wondering again, are we blind to this or we would rather choose to turn a blind eye to them, or even both? Is life easier that way? I appreciate people who make it their purpose to inform the world about its dealings that are not honestly transmitted to the public. The only thing at this point is to share information, and make people aware of the elephant that has always been in the room, the truth! It’s up to the people and it has always been. And one other thing I have seen even for myself is that our attachments are one of our greatest vices.  That’s another thought that deserves it own space here.

Love and Light

xx